I wish I would have made a diary of my first film; THIS WORLD WON'T BREAK, I do. It breaks my heart that I wasn't able to. But to be honest, it was hard enough to get through each day.
It was all a blur.
Two hours of sleep a day, getting coffee and breakfast tacos for those that showed up, and then watching the terabytes slowly download onto the many random hard drives that I could afford and conjure up at midnight. And then do it all again the next day.
Maybe a diary seemed like I had to revisit it all, and well, I couldn't feel that. The day my teeth fell out on set would have been a good entry. The day I thought I was dying on the floor of Alamo Draft House would have been a good entry, too; it was probably best not to try and relive those moments.
(More on those things later )
So making a film is a lonely process.
The actual filming is not; that's when everyone is on board, and it's a blast.
But that is 10% of filmmaking. The other 90% is paperwork, emails, driving around, and crying.
Not at the same time.
Well, I did run a red light when our funding ran out, and I was crying and throwing up again; that's for later.
So yeah, all that being said, I'm doing it again.
Not crying and throwing up, but making another film.
This time, you all are going to be around for it all.
Maybe it will make it less lonely.