Today is one of those days where your mind is in 2,000 places at once. Working on the 'Proof of Concept" teaser for the film, director/production meeting at the Ochre House theater, Joshua Ray Walker "Tonight Show Watch Party". But the hard part is, we are missing our buddy today. Trey Johnson, owner of State Fair Records: home of Joshua Ray Walker, passed away yesterday. He was the driving force for a lot of DFW artists. But not just any driving force, he was a force of kindness, compassion and genuinely cared about you and your work. It meant the world to him to see you shine. Just days ago we chatted about tonight. It's tough to comprehend that those chats are over. Trey left us putting Joshua on the Tonight Show and gearing up for THIS WORLD WON'T BREAK soundtrack release, and a gazillion more projects. I can't imagine what he would do in 40 more years. We turn our focus on his sweet family now. Memory eternal Trey.
- Josh
I took a break from preproduction to film Joshua Ray Walker for the Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon.
Crazy times.
Joshua was supposed to perform last week but.... you know, covid and such had different plans. The silver lining is that I've had the chance to creatively direct all three of his albums and music videos., so full circle bringing this back to Texas. Joshua is about to hit the road for a while, and I'm back in the preproduction/writing chair again. But soon, all these people in this photo will be making a movie again.
That's when it's all just right.
- Josh
What is a Mike Mills film?
If I were to answer this, it would be behind my tears.
He is a gentle soul, or so I imagine through his lens, through his words, and his pacing.
I've watched C'mon C'mon three times now, and I've always cried.
It's not a sad film. That's why I've been revisiting it. I think I cry because it allows me to, with no questions asked.
The black and white tones remove forced emotion; it allows feeling to breathe.
The film is a knowing nod to someone we care deeply about but hold grudges because of our insecurities.
Sometimes it's OK not to know all the answers.
As a dad for twenty years, always saying it's all going to be OK to two tiny boys, this film is a friendly hug. Saying it's OK, dad, you don't have to have all the answers, just you being here is enough... C'mon, C'mon, C'mon...
- Josh
I wish I would have made a diary of my first film; THIS WORLD WON'T BREAK, I do. It breaks my heart that I wasn't able to. But to be honest, it was hard enough to get through each day.
It was all a blur.
Two hours of sleep a day, getting coffee and breakfast tacos for those that showed up, and then watching the terabytes slowly download onto the many random hard drives that I could afford and conjure up at midnight. And then do it all again the next day.
Maybe a diary seemed like I had to revisit it all, and well, I couldn't feel that. The day my teeth fell out on set would have been a good entry. The day I thought I was dying on the floor of Alamo Draft House would have been a good entry, too; it was probably best not to try and relive those moments.
(More on those things later )
So making a film is a lonely process.
The actual filming is not; that's when everyone is on board, and it's a blast.
But that is 10% of filmmaking. The other 90% is paperwork, emails, driving around, and crying.
Not at the same time.
Well, I did run a red light when our funding ran out, and I was crying and throwing up again; that's for later.
So yeah, all that being said, I'm doing it again.
Not crying and throwing up, but making another film.
This time, you all are going to be around for it all.
Maybe it will make it less lonely.
- Josh
